What is it like to have a Filipina wife?
I met my Filipina wife on a dating site dedicated to Filipino girls, and there are distinct differences between girls from the Philippines and those born and raised in America, or any other westernized culture, for that matter. First, Philippine girls are taught from the time they are little girls through adulthood that the most important role they will ever play is that of a Filipina wife and mother.
The concept of male and female equality doesn’t make sense, as they feel that men and women (although equal in importance) have distinct roles in society and in the family. Second, there is no divorce in the Philippines, so when a Philippine girl gets married, she gets married for life. Her commitment to the family and her husband comes before any career or outside interest. Third, morality and chastity are treasured, and it is a common saying that the most precious gift a girl can give her husband is her virginity.
I have been married to my Filipina wife for 18 years now, and we have been blessed with two beautiful children. Although there have been many struggles, marrying her is the best single decision I have ever made.
What is it like to have a Filipina wife?
In light of all the negative comments about Filipinas being gold diggers, let me share my own experience. I have been going out with a Filipina for 7 years now. I still want to get married, but in all that time, she has never asked me for money, either for herself or her family, although they are relatively poor. In fact, she has even refused the money I offered on my own accord for her or her family’s expenses.
I also put enough money in a Philippine bank account in her name with the idea that she would buy a house for us, but she has never touched that money, although her own housing situation is not the best! Instead, she has her own professional job and supports herself.
Over the last seven years, she has bought me countless clothes (always good brands), three brand-name watches, an iPhone, etc.; she also always buys presents for my family when she comes to visit. Plus, she has been there for me emotionally through good and bad times, including a few stretches of unemployment. I also don’t own my own house and drive a 20-year-old car.
So what is it like to have a Filipina wife? Perfect if you find the right one. My girlfriend is highly educated, with a master’s degree and a law degree, so maybe that makes a difference, but she’s by far the most loyal and affectionate girlfriend I have had so far.
PS: As to providing support to the family, this is not unique to the Philippines but a normal cultural expectation in most places in the world, EXCEPT the West. As such, it is not necessarily a sign of a ‘”golddigger’. If you are not willing to do that, it would be best to stick to western women.
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Do Filipino women make good wives?
Before I answer this one, it is necessary to dispel a myth put around by disreputable online dating sites about Filipinas (and, for that matter, equally the women of China, Thailand, and the rest of Southeast Asia, Russia, various African countries, and every other developing country from where women seek unions with Western men).
There is a tale peddled regularly that women of these countries are “more traditional and respectful” than western women and that they want the opportunity to be an obedient Filipina wife, child-bearer, and housemaid. Men in the west often make the mistake of assuming that these more traditional women in the developing world will accept a much more 19th-century life than American, European, et cetera women will, but in fact most of these women are often looking to avoid men with that kind of attitude in their own countries and want to have a bite of the same liberated cherry that western women enjoy.
Filipino feminism is very different from that in other countries; the Philippine labour market (in certain industries at least) is much more equal than in some similar places; and women are a significant force in the workplace, where they do have strong opportunities for promotion and personal development. This is largely due to necessity because the country has many economic issues, so even though women are not always treated well, they also don’t take much shit from the men in their lives, be they husbands, boyfriends, or bosses. Erase from your mind any notion of subservient, obedient slaves; they expect respect.
Now, what is a Filipina really like?
The positive stereotypes are largely true. Friendly, yes, loyal, yes—as long as loyalty is well-reciprocated, kind, and helpful—definitely, and they do tend to be very accomplished at taking care of their figures.
DISCLAIMER: What follows are not, if you yourself are a decent human being, bad points; they are cultural differences that a western guy needs to be aware of when entering into a relationship with a Filipina.
One important thing to be aware of culturally is that Filipino men and women can be very melodramatic in nature and often appear to be making mountains out of molehills by our standards, so be prepared to either be patient or to have some blazing rows.
Filipinos are also very jealous people, which I believe to be a symptom of the culture rather than a part of it. The Philippines is a predominantly Catholic country, and one that is second only to the Vatican itself in terms of its close adherence to dogma; however, the nation’s Catholic piety is a rather thin veil beneath which promiscuity and adultery are just as rife as they are elsewhere.
There is great pressure from Filipino society to marry and have families, which many do at young ages and are often somewhat naively ignorant of the realities of a life partnership, making for a great many broken families. If you are becoming romantically involved with a Filipina, be aware of her status because she may have been married already, and even if separated for some time, she is still legally married.
What is it like to have a Filipina wife?
Divorce still is not a legal concept here, and annulment is a lengthy and expensive process mired in bureaucratic difficulty, and she won’t be able to get a visa to join you in your country without that annulment being done and dusted; and if you choose to live in the Philippines with your new partner, you would not get any legal status as her partner until you are able to marry, so you would need to comply with tourist visa rules and be fiscally self-sufficient, or work and keep up the potentially expensive process of maintaining an annual work permit. Some employers might help you with this, but usually only if you fill a special need that they can’t find in the population at large.
Once in a relationship, and especially once married, you will learn that Filipino families stick together tightly, and you will be expected to help out from time to time. Make sure that you are comfortable with this from the outset, and set boundaries. Any good son-in-law will support his Filipina wife’s parents in bad times, and since you are western and she is Filipino, they will have more bad times than you might be used to.
Early in your relationship, you need to agree on what you are comfortable with in terms of how much you can afford to help (remembering, of course, that you have your own family too) and how much you are willing to help. Helping the parents is fine, but don’t allow yourself to become an ATM machine for your siblings-in-law or the extended family; both of you need to set and agree on expectations from square one.
Trust is often an issue in relationships with Filipinas. Filipino men do not have to fear anything from the ‘child support’ that we have in the west; they can get a woman pregnant, walk away, and never see her or the child again without fear that the government will dip their pockets, and so they often do. Your Filipina girlfriend or bride might come to you with a certain amount of relationship baggage and might not find it too easy to totally trust you.
With the exception of those who work in western environments, like the call-centre industry, they will also be less familiar and certainly less comfortable with the fact that your friends are around fifty percent split along gender lines.
What is it like to have a Filipina wife?
Be prepared for her to review your Facebook friends, Instagram, and Twitter followers, et cetera, and frequently ask questions like, “Who’s she? How long have you known her? How did you meet her? Have you dated her?”. If you are serious about your relationship with your Filipina partner, you will take some of this in stride at first, assuming it to be the normal process of getting to know each other, but it’s important to take control of this situation as soon as you notice it; otherwise, it does become emotionally draining.
My own Filipina wife still sometimes asks “Who’s that?” when she sees my Facebook or Instagram, but we’ve had long conversations about how hurtful the apparent lack of trust is, and she now makes the effort to ask me without the usual Filipino melodrama. I meet her half way by always explaining who the person is in detail, and I have made a special point of introducing her to my close and regular friends so that she knows them too.
One final thing you might have heard from other westerners who have visited the Philippines or even who live here. Filipinas are easy lays, right? Well, the answer to that question is both “yes” and “no,” and how much yes and no depends completely on what kind of human being you are. Let me remind you that the Philippines is a largely Catholic country, and the vast majority of its people profess deep religious views and care a lot about their public image.
The concept of casual sex as we know it in the West is very rare in the Philippines. Yes, it might sometimes be easy to persuade a Filipina into bed, but she will have more on her mind than just tonight and probably already sees a relationship developing with you, so if you are not a complete arsehole, you will make your intentions clear before going to bed if you don’t see the same thing.
What is it like to have a Filipina wife?
There are, of course, people available on an hourly or nightly basis in certain areas, these will make themselves known (you will probably know anyway because you will be in a place where the light is metaphorically red); but there are also, in certain places frequented by foreigners, girls who blur the line between the prostitutes and those who hope to be brides – they might just have a romantic interest in you (such bonds are formed quickly here) and hope for the best.
So spend a lot of time with you on your trip and enjoy your hospitality, maybe she does this regularly to supplement her income (even the very pious can have flexible limits when money is very tight), but be aware that you are swimming in rather murky waters. If you do meet a Filipina in these kind of circumstances, don’t assume that open-mindedness will continue once a relationship becomes ‘official’, it won’t. No Filipina will tolerate you being a bad boy within the confines of a full relationship.
Finally (really finally, this time), if you meet a Filipina online, it stands to reason that she has chatted online with other men just as you have no doubt chatted online with other guys. There is a very particular set of western men that trawl the free dating sites and apps, and they are very similar to those men who come to the Philippines as sex tourists looking for cheap and temporary thrills, in other words those looking for the particular brand of western casual, uncomplicated sex that doesn’t truly exist in Asia; and there is a very real chance that your girl has encountered a number of these.
She may have even done things online that she isn’t proud of. This does not make her ‘easy’ just as I mentioned above when I talked about the apparent ease of getting some Filipinas into bed, it is more likely to mean that she has mistaken the behaviour of ‘those’ kinds of men online to be normal in the west and assumed that flashing one’s body or even putting on sex acts during video calls is the standard expectation.
I have written this lengthy answer for two purposes:
- To make men hoping to date and/or marry Filipinas aware of the cultural differences that you will encounter, in the hope that you will treat the women you encounter with the respect that they deserve – do this and your chances of finding a good Filipina wife are excellent.
- To get the message out to Filipinas that the behaviour that they encounter from some western men, both those men making temporary visits to the Philippines and those prowling the free online dating sites and apps, is not real life as it usually occurs in the west, it is not “the norm”; and that when a western man tells you that western women are disrespectful, demanding or “gold-diggers”, what he means is that western women won’t tolerate his misogynist bullshit – so take good care of yourself in this arena, you may meet your handsome prince, but you’ll encounter many toads on the journey.
Ladies of the Philippines, if you truly want to date and marry a western guy, find a dating web site or app that is free to you but in which the western guys pay a subscription. This isn’t a sure-fire way to avoid the toads, but it will make the chances of finding the princes statistically better.
What can you tell me about Filipina’s wives? Are they good lovers?
My gf is a Filipina. We have had sex from our very first meeting 3 years ago. I am 68 and she is 50. I am only her 2nd bf. We enjoy each other’s bodies immensely. When I was leaving for Australia after each visit, on our last night, we would cling to each other and enjoy the physicality and sensualness throughout the night, having penetration as we wanted. I have never talked about my sex life before, but reading stories here made me want to share.
Perhaps next time I can elaborate more. ….In answer to the question, YES, Flipina ladies make excellent lovers. I have been married 3 times and those 3 wives did not come close to the love and tenderness, the willingness to try new things, and the care and compassion that my gf puts into our relationship. Filipina ladies are the backbone of their families, while the Filipino men often live with them until 1 or more babies arrive, then desert them. I am retired and I will move to the Philippines to live with my gf as soon as covid19 restrictions ease enough to make it possible.
What are the benefits of marrying a Filipina woman?
I am married to a Filipina from Cebu. I was previously married twice to American women, and it just did not work out. My Filipina wife is beautiful, sexy, warm, loving, educated, respectful, and speaks better English than most Americans, albeit with a cute accent. Did you know that the Philippines has the third largest English speaking population after the US and UK? Although I’m an overweight, balding, middle-aged guy, she loves me completely, and is fiercely jealous. I have no doubt that she will be my partner until my dying day.
I have been married to my Cebuana wife for just over 11 years. We have 2 amazing kids and as I work away from home monday to friday they have been raised primarily by my wife.
What a job she is doing. Can’t fault her at all.
My wife as many Filipinos is a mixer. She likes to partake of the society she lives in here in England. She is a committee member of our local village hall, as well as the one who cleans the village hall. She is a dinner lady at the primary school where our kids study. She has always been ready to join in.
While my wife was indeed a church goer when we married, she knew I wasn’t. I never denied her going to church and actively went with her. During her time in the UK, she has come to see that not everything has to revolve around the church and in fact we haven’t been to church for over 5 years.
We have a large group of Filipino friends here in Lincolnshire. They are my main friends. Friendly, fun and always ready to help and join in.
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Completely honest, and trustworthy. She listens to my advice and then makes her own decisions! Don’t try to control them as I have seen them turn the tables on husbands and the husbands become dominated. Yes, you read right. The older a Filipina gets the more she will become independant. However, she is completely loyal.
Don’t misunderstand, I know of Filipina who have had affairs just like in other societies, and I can only imagine that the husbands are not treating those ladies with the respect and devotion they should be giving.
I have a great extended family. I get on really well with my Second Mum. Whenever we go to Cebu I’m treated like a star, but I don’t take advantage of the hospitality. My mother in law has visited us in England 3 times, so she knows the kind of life we have, and she understands we are not RICH! I don’t care what the rest of the family thinks about us. My mother in law is in charge in Cebu. She controls the finances there. Oh and yes we send money every month. My Filipina wife was the earner in the family. I always knew I would be sending money. £250 a month for 11 years. No it doesn’t bother me. My life is easy. My Filipina wife makes sure.
I suppose one of the main aspects of marrying someone from the Philippines is they don’t have expectations specific expectations about who they are marrying. My Filipina wife didn’t expect to be rich. She is happy with the life she has now. A very moderate life. All she wanted was a buotan husband. A good husband. Hopefully I have been more than she wanted or needed. She also doesn’t mind my singing. In fact because of my father in law I now play the guitar. Music is a huge part of filipino life.
Benefits of marrying a Filipina? More than I can possibly write about here. But I tried!
What are the pros and cons of having a Filipino wife or girlfriend?
Pinay Girlfriend:
Good sex, yes that good… very good.
Sex anytime, yes never no.
Pinay wife:
Adobo is awesome, food is on point.
House is always clean, yes you will leave your shoes outside.
She will tell you if you look like shit, so dress accordingly. Keeps you pogi.
Clothes are washed and clean
Kids are disciplined and will graduate.
She will push you to work so man up and make that money. Bring home the bacon.
Both are pros and no cons.
A good pinay is heaven sent!!!
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Will a Filipino woman make good wife for a western man?
Depends on how you both get along really. Filipinas aren’t some Asian version of Stepford wives, you know. There are traditional-thinking women and there are also some who have more liberal values. Like any other country, it is a mixed bag.
However, there is some truth to some of the details that you included—like most of the people you will meet here will have some degree of exposure to religion, some more fanatical than others. And there are a lot of people who will forever remain feeling a strong sense of responsibility towards their family. And when I say family, this isn’t limited to her immediate family. It includes cousins, wives of cousins, friends she’s had for years, etc. A lot of Filipinas will want or feel obligated to provide for these people.
Truly hope you find a match that you think suits your personalities and echoes your beliefs, regardless of her ethnicity.
What is it like to have a Filipina wife?
If you are an old man, obviously understand that she probably doesn’t like you particularly, but she is seeking a better life.
If you are a youngish and decent looking man, then she probably does in fact like you. So there are different types of Filipino women obviously, remember that.
Now culturally however, Filipino women are actually excellent. Why?
- 1. They come from an honest culture.
- 2. They are very good at conversation, meaning they have the ability to get deep into subjects and converse well.
- 3. They seem to think about perspectives from the other person, meaning they understand ideas like fairness etc.
- 4. They probably can make the best partner of any women you will find anywhere, if you are a western man.
Let’s compare to Japanese, who rarely show interest in dating foreign men. Of course many Japanese are beautiful. Let’s just pretend for the purpose of this that some beautiful Japanese women are as open to dating a foreign man as to dating a Japanese man (for arguments sake).
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Even if that was the case (which it isn’t), just the culture and behaviour of Japanese women will make a union with a western man rather difficult.
1. Their culture is not upfront. In their culture you don’t really speak your mind, even if it’s just to compliment someone and call them beautiful it can be offensive. Instead everything is communicated indirectly through subtle behaviour, it’s generally a frustrating culture for most foreigners (which is why most foreigners end up leaving Japan after trying to live there for a year or two).
2. Japanese are not good at conversation, most aren’t curious about subjects outside of their chosen one. Japanese are instead specialists, a Japanese person will usually have one field that they specialise in and that’s their life, outside of that they have little interest in other subjects.
3. Japanese are just generally far too insular to be compatible for a western man. The only way to get the average Japanese to talk honestly is to get them drunk, outside of that they hide their true ideas and feelings from everyone.
It’s usually the outcast women like Zainichi or Chinese living in Japan that tend to make ok wives for western men (as these women don’t identify as Japanese and often try to distance themselves from being Japanese culturally, and instead these women will gravitate towards non Japanese).
And now let’s take the average Anglo woman (British/American/Australian). Obviously these are compatible to some degree for western men, as they are the same culture. However they are in fact still less compatible when compared to Filipino women. Here is why.
1. Western women tend to find western men not as attractive as Filipino women find western men.
For example the majority of Filipino women would even consider Daniel Radcliffe to be physically attractive.
Now pretend that Daniel Radcliffe isn’t actually an actor and is just some random nobody. The fact is that at least 70%-80% of western women will consider him pretty undesirable and not even look twice at him.
2. Western women have higher demands for your finances. For example if you are just a man with a smaller sized house, a regular car, and a regular old job.
To a Filipino woman none of this is a problem, since she comes from usually a poorer situation anyway.
To a western woman however, unless you are in the top 50% of wage earners, then at least on a financial level you are deemed as a loser.
3. Western women are more likely to divorce you, a statistical fact. This is because it may be easy if you are a decent man to please a western woman initially when she is young. But as you both age, she will often turn into an angry middle aged person and divorce you.
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What is it like to have a Filipina wife?